Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 14 February 2011

image for Chicharito's Girlfriend Shakira Bares It All As A Goodwill Gesture of Peace And Harmony Between Colombia and England
Shakira holds the world's record for shaking her hips at 124 miles per hour! (Photo courtesy of Cheryl Cole).

MANCHESTER - The Colombian belly dancing firecracker Shakira and the Mexican Manchester United footballer Chicharito are celebrating their first month anniversary.

Shakira, whose hips have been clocked at 124 miles per hour, told a reporter for Ta Ta For Now News that she is happier now than she has been in the past 13 years.

The woman who had her hips insured by Lloyds of London for $10 million [£6.2 million, U.K.] says that when she is in Chicharito's arms it is as if she is floating in a vat of the most expensive vanilla ice cream made in Vermont.

Shakira has said that she is so in love with Chich that if he asked her to have his football number (14) tattooed on her body she would do it in a Manchester Manc minute.

Chicharito was asked by 2TF2N if Shakira has proven to be all the woman that he thought she would be. The man who wears numero 14 for the Red Devils replied in broken English, "Chakeera ease de mostest teereefeek woman dat I hab eber kissed on dee chi-chi's."

He went on to say that he goes to sleep thinking about her legs. He dreams about her butt. And he wakes up giggling about the amazing way that she can make her taquito (muffin) move at an unbelievable speed of 124 miles per hour!

Chich said that most of the time he does not have to do a damn thing but just lie there and Shakira will take him to the top of Mount Kilimanjaro.

Shakira is truly proud to be able to spend time with her new boyfriend in the wonderful country where he plays his beloved football. The Colombian cutey says that she loves being in England so much that she has agreed to do a layout in PlayChap Mens Magazine.

She said that Javier (Chicharito) encouraged her to go ahead with it after she expressed to him she wanted to do it as a goodwill gesture of peace and harmony between her country Colombia and his adopted country England.

Chatsworth Wiggonholt the reporter with 'Ta Ta For Now News' stated that Chicharito had confided to him that Shakira is so enamored with the British culture and her people that she has nicknamed her bikini taco "La Crumpet Chiquita."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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