Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 14 February 2011

image for Kristen Stewart and Vanessa Hudgens To Star In Ron Jeremy's Porn Film, "The Twillington Twins Traipse All Over Tokyo"?
A 1946 photo of Tokyo, which will be recreated for the movie "The Twillington Twins Traipse All Over Tokyo."

HOLLYWOOD - After months of speculation it is now official Ron Jeremy, who has starred in over 2,000 porn films has stated that he will be co-starring with Kristen Stewart and Vanessa Hudgens in The Monteverdi Brothers motion picture film The Twillington Twins Traipse All Over Tokyo.

The film is set in 1946, in war torn Japan right after the end of World War II. Ron Jeremy stars as Cosmo F. Rainweiser, the CEO of an American insurance company Emperor of Omaha.

His company had sold hundreds of life insurance policies to Japan's 'Special Attack Forces' members, better known as kamikaze pilots.

At first Emperor of Omaha stated that they would not be honoring any of the kamikaze pilot policies, but the company soon reneged after Tokyo's famed attorney F. Ling Bay Lee filed a $24 million lawsuit, which in today's economy would be about $700 million.

Rainweiser ends up sending two of his best insurance agents the Twillington sisters Savannah (Vanessa Hudgens) and Scarlett (Kristen Stewart) to Tokyo to the Japanese Hall of Air Force Records to search for the families of the policy holders.

Rainweiser stated that of the 743 policies that his company had sold to Japanese pilots, 719 lived in or near the Greater Tokyo area.

Since it was right after the war and the Japanese people were still quite pissed off at America for having dropped the two friggin atomic bombs the Twillington sisters needless to say were not exactly what one would call popular little gals.

Most places that Savannah and Scarlett went they were called everything from Wizard of Oz chumpettes to non-slanted eyed bitches.

After about two weeks of hearing all of this constant abuse the girls asked Mr. Rainweiser to fly to Tokyo and meet with them. He did. And the three devised a plan that would not only get the Japanese people to accept the twins, but it would also be a way for Emperor of Omaha to get out of having to pay on the 743 life insurance policies.

Rainweiser took the sisters to a local Fredericks of Tokyo and he bought the Twillingtons over $800 worth of sexy lingerie in all colors and fabric patterns.

Most of the silky items included little drawings of the famed Japanese Zeroes, Japanese dragons, and Japanese Saki bottles.

The girls soon became quite popular and gave the local Geisha girls a run for their money. Savannah and Scarlett became so popular and so sought out that Rainweiser had to hire four bodyguards who were all ex-naval sailors aboard Japan's famed two-man submarines.

Well it was not long before the Japanese people (or the males at least) had forgotten all about the two A-bombs, the USS Missouri, the Iwo Jima American flag raising ceremony, and the fact that all the American servicemen used to say that Tokyo Rose sounded like a butch dyke who probably had a bigger one that the old son-of-a-bitch back-stabbing punk Hirohito.

In other news. Joan Rivers is adamantly denying the rumor that due to the fact that she has had so many face lifts her G-spot has now ended up inside her belly button.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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