BIRMINGHAM, ENG. - Robert Plant, 17, is a self-described hipster of the eponymous movement. However not any more.
Why? He had gone shopping with his mother, which he says is so indie, cause no-one does it, and had accepted a non-ironic t-shirt from his mother.
It didn't even have a message on it.
"Yeah," said the Hipsterism Isn't Ironic Society, "it was blank. A dull, bright red t-shirt. Because of this, I'm afraid the hipster community has had to shun Plant from the hipster life. Wow. That is, like, so totally, like, hipster, 'cause no-ones done that."
The hipster movement, which is so totally, like, anti-mainstream, has millions of people, and has several chart-topping musicians as near-hymn status, including Radiohead and R.E.M.
"Oh no!" said Plant. "I might have to kill myself, but that's sooo, like, mainstream. Everyone's died, so its so totally not cool, like."
This is Steven Ershant for Inhopeless Entertainment News. Because, like, writing stuff using a persona in a persona is so totally, like, indie.