Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Ke$ha

Monday, 14 February 2011

image for Ke$ha Explains The Unsightly Bruises On Her Upper Thighs
Ke$ha goes through three 24 ounce bottles of glitter per week. (Photo courtesy of Adam Lambert).

HOLLYWOOD - Ke$ha Rose Sebert recently enjoyed a nice dinner at Eva Longoria's Beso Restaurant with Cashew Vixenheimer of The Tinsel Town Times Tribune.

The classy restaurant which Eva got in her recent divorce settlement from ex-husband San Antonio Spurs guard Tony Parker does not have bartenders - they are instead referred to as 'mixologists.'

5T was the first publication to report about Kesha's breakup with Alex Carapetis and then later with John Mayer.

Vixenheimer asked the singer with the dollar sign in her name how her career was going. She replied that she was very happy and revealed that her follow up to her hit song "We R Who We R" had just entered the charts at number 10 with a bullet.

The song which was co-written by Kara DioGuardi and Frankie Avalon is entitled, "We B Who We Say We B We R." Ke$ha confessed that the song has special meaning because she first heard the demo tape just after John had asked her to return the diamond vagina stud he had bought her last year.

She said that as soon as she gave it back to him he immediately broke up with her. When asked why Mayer had dumped her she replied that he told her that it was just a matter of him being allergic to glitter.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Ke$ha and Adam Lambert are both known as the king and queen of glitter. Both have stated that they go through three 24 ounce jars of glitter per week.]

As Ke$ha was having a bite of her chorizo rubbed rib-eye steak Cashew asked her about the unsightly bruises on her upper thighs.

Ke$ha said that she and Boo Boo Stewart had gone out to a Los Angeles Lakers game and afterwards they had driven up to Montecito Heights to get some quesadillas at a local Tacos, Tacos, and Mucho More Tacos.

Ke$ha said that as she was getting back into Boo Boo's Lamborghini she slipped on an empty Corona Light Beer can, lost her balance, and ended up hitting her thighs on a Harley-Davidson motorcycle that was parked in the next parking spot.

Ke$ha revealed to Vixenheimer that her career has been influenced by Debbie Harry (Blondie), Madonna, and Bob Dylan, but not at all by that skank fake blonde Courtney Love.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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