EL PASO, Texas - La Chupacabra Convention Center in El Paso was completely sold out as the 30,000 fans eagerly awaited the star of the evening's show Miley Cyrus.
Zydeco Dupree, a comedian from Louisiana had opened the show. And now a local Native-American hip hop band, Sacajawea's Red Boy Toyz had taken center stage and started their five song set.
Meanwhile backstage Miley Cyrus was relaxing while eating an order of sushi tacos and drinking it down with sips of diet water.
She was asked by a reporter for Tittle Tattle Tonight about her on-going feud with Taylor Momsen.
Miley quickly put down the sushi taco she was eating and stated that she cannot stand Taylor Momsen who she said looks like an illegitimate, sex-starved raccoon.
Cyrus said that Momsen had started the feud last July when she stated that she (Miley) was trying so hard to act like a cheap, bargain basement version of Madonna.
Miley fired back by saying that with the money that Momsen spends on her tons and tons of eye liner and eye shadow that she could easily feed an Ethiopian family of 17 for two weeks.
She also pointed out that Taylor's overweight maternal grandmother was nicknamed the "Sag Hag" because when she showers her bazongas (tits) hand down so low that they actually cover the shower stall drain.
Cyrus was told by a stage hand identified as Billy "Chill Pill" Hackingfurst that Taylor was performing in Albuquerque, New Mexico at The Mescalero Apache Warpaint Auditorium 230 miles directly north of El Paso.
He said that his cousin Clovis "Tater Tot" Hackingfurst was attending Momsen's concert and he texted him saying that Taylor had just remarked to the sold out crowd of 20,000 that Miley Cyrus so far this year has given private lap dances to Donald Rumsfeld, Dick Cheney, and Hugh Hefner's 103-year-old uncle Brewster "Gummy Bear" Hefner.
He said that Momsen then remarked that Miley's ex-boyfriend Australian Liam Hemsworth had dumped her because of the fact that every other word out of Miley's mouth was a four-letter word.
Miley was so mad she started choking on the sushi taco she was eating. Luckily for her Hackingfurst knew CPR and he immediately administered it to her.
By now one of Miley's assistants had told her that she would be going on in five minutes.
Cyrus turned to Billy and told him that after her first song she was going to get back at Miss Taylor Momsen. Hackingfurst asked her what was she going to do.
Miley started giggling and said that she was going to ask the audience, "Hey lissen up y'all, I got a joke for ya here. What is the difference between Taylor Momsen and a raccoon?"
Billy thought for a moment and asked her "What's the difference?"
And Miley replied, "Not an effen, friggin, freakin, mother fookin thing that's what!"
Miley stood up. She hugged Billy, thanked him, and started walking toward the hallway that leads to the stage.
Billy suddenly hollered out, "Hey Miley...you go bitch!"
Miley turned around, looked at Billy, and smiled as she gave him the thumbs up sign.