Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 12 February 2011

image for Paris Hilton Has Agreed To Portray Lindsay Lohan In "Freckles - The Lindsay Lohan Story"
Lindsay Lohan may be heading to The Zsa Zsa Gabor Prison For Women located in Los Angeles.

BEVERLY HILLS - Paris Hilton who really hasn't done much of anything for quite sometime told her hairdresser Mr. Tabby of Topanga Canyon that she will soon begin filming the motion picture Freckles - The Lindsay Lohan Story.

Hilton was asked by Paprika Pittfauster of The West Hollywood Flaming Gazette if she had spoken to her good friend LiLo about starring in a movie about her.

Paris replied that she hadn't because lately it seems like Lindsay has been changing her phone number every four days or so.

The heiress to the Hilton Hotel empire admitted that Lohan had in fact told their mutual friend Nicole "Skinny Bones" Ritchie that the reason why Lohan has changed her cell phone number so much is to try and keep one step ahead of the law.

Hilton was asked if she was going to meet with Lindsay and get some tips about some of her personal mannerisms, quirks, foibles, idiosyncrasies, or ditsy nuances.

Paris giggled and said that she had not planned on it and especially now that it seems that Lindsay Lohan's new place of residence may be at The Zsa Zsa Gabor Prison For Women.

Hilton popped her gum, brushed back her hair, took a drink of her Mango Margarita and said that all she really needs to do in order to accurately portray Lindsay Lohan is to dye her blonde hair auburn, dab on about 700 or so fake freckles, learn how to steal jewelry, and pretend that her head is somewhere up in the clouds.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: The hair part will be a breeze. The freckle part will be easy as heck. She should be able to gets some tips in regards to stealing stuff from Winona "Sticky Fingers" Ryder. And as for pretending that her head is somewhere up in the clouds; that should be relatively easy - since Paris has already been doing that for the past five years.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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