Graffitti artist Rich Simmons has created a royal mural with Prince William as the Sex Pistols bass player and Kate Middleton as Nancy Spungen. Over the picture is the intriguing title FUTURE ****KING.
Unfortunately Nancy ended her day's being stabbed to death and Sid Vicious died of a heroin overdose.
Kate Middleton has queried the picture because she thought she was going to be dying in a car crash after divorcing William because he was Gay. This has been confirmed by someone completing the slogan above the picture to FUTURE WANKING.
Prince William joked that the mural was 'all a bit of jolly good fun' but Prince Charles expressed his doubts.
'To have Kate stabbed is fair enough - you can't have loose cannons in the Royal Family - but William as a heroin addict is not cool. He's a weed man, through and through.'
The Queen is furious at the outrage. 'I can't have my grandson described as a weedy man - he flies helicopters. If this goes on any more we will have anarchy in the UK!'
Prince Philip, now admitting he is past his prime, thought it was a fucking good laugh. 'It is funny how shy young people are of using that great anglo-saxon world Fuck - why do they have to put those stars instead of F U C K?'