HOLLYWOOD - The lead singer for Aerosmith Steven Tyler told reporters that he is loving every single minute of being the new judge on the American Idol panel.
Steven, known as "Lips" Tyler because of his Mick Jaggeresque trout snout says that he cannot believe that he is getting paid the ton of money he is getting to have the amount of fun he is having.
He remarked that just sitting next to Jennifer (Lopez) is a thrill for the man who claims to have bedded more women than any other rock star in history including Mick Jagger of The Rolling Stones.
When Mick Jagger heard about Tyler's claim he confessed, "'Ey, da lad is ditzy. I do believe dat I've put it ta more women than da bloke from Yonkers, New York has. I meself came mighty close ta almost puttin it ta da very queen her very self I did.
"As I recall it twas around Halloween back in 1962, and it so 'appened dat ta two of us Queen Lizzy and meself struck up a conversation in da parking lot of a local fish and chips restaurant in Pimlico.
"I told da lass of me intentions but she sadly replied dat she 'ad ta run off ta do a ribbon cutting ceremony or some other fookin queenish function."
When Rolling Stone guitarist Keith Richard heard Tyler's statement he remarked, "Me thinks dat da lads sense of reasoning 'as been clouded by da fumes from da gobs and gobs of eye-liner, eye shadow, and mascara dat da bloody, bloomin, bloke 'as inhaled over da past 30 years."
Sir Reggie Brixton Buxtonshire, recently wrote the definitive rock and roll book on humping entitled, The Lads of Rock & Roll And The Number of Chicks, Mademoiselles, Muchachas, Frauleins, and Lassies That They Have Boinked, Banged, and Bonked.
Buxtonshire wrote that as of February 1, 2011, 67-year-old Mick Jagger's total was 17,155 and 62-year-old Steven Tyler's total was 15,330. Buxtonshire did point out the very important fact that Jagger is five years older than Tyler.
Life time totals for other rock and roll stars include Keith Richard 15,291; Pete Townshend, 9,303; Neil Young, 8,491, David Crosby, 117; Ozzy Osbourne, 29; and Peter Noone (of Herman's Hermits) 3.