Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 10 February 2011

image for Demi Lovato Reveals Some Shocking Secrets About Her Recent Stay At The Rehab Clinic
Demi Lovato sitting by the Pacific Ocean and thinking about Enzo Rudolphowitz saying she sang better than Celine Dion.

BEVERLY HILLS - Demi Lovato, the teen singing sensation who recently spent three months at The Henry and Betty Ford Rehab Clinic sat down in the courtyard of the luxurious Mrs. Ponce De Leon Hotel and spoke with Cashew Vixenheimer of The Tinsel Town Times Tribune.

Lovato, dressed in a Cheryl Cole designer dress and glittery high heels from the Adam Lambert collection talked freely of her rehab clinic stay.

The young songstress said that the one person at The Henry and Betty Ford Rehab Clinic who really helped her out and did not try to take advantage of the fact that she was a very famous singer was the rehab clinic's custodian Enzo Rudolphowitz.

She said that Enzo would listen to hear sing and tell her that she sang better than Miley Cyrus, Celine Dion, and even Ashlee Simpson.

He would also sneak into the clinic's cafeteria and bring her back packets of Gummy Bears.

Lovato stated that the meanest person that she came across during her stay was the clinic's assistant director Lamentosa Prancermeister.

Demi's eyes welled up with tears when she said that the "Nazi Prancer" as all of the patients called her was an evil person who would make the patients forcibly play the new board game from Hasbroken Toys, The TSA Pat Down Board Game.

Demi said that after being forced to play the game with Prancermeister for three hours straight she finally pretended to faint so that she could stop playing the game.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Demi Lovato's attorney Rhett Duckabushowitz investigated Lovato's allegations and he was able to prove that they were in fact true. He is glad to announce that he agreed to drop a $12 million lawsuit against the clinic once they told him that Ms. Lamentosa Prancermeister had been fired.]

Lovato told Vixenheimer that the clinic's head of security Van Buren Mollycoddle never touched her in an inappropriate manner but he did go into her room from time to time and show her photographs that he had taken of himself holding his Glock 9 handgun while standing naked in the shower of his trailer house in Avocado Heights.

And Demi shook her head as she confessed that clinic nurse Cadenza Costapino used to go into her room at 3 a.m. and tell her that she had to take her temperature.

Lovato said that the first time she sat up in her bed, opened her mouth, and Costapino grinned and simply said, "Ah...no sweety, I prefer the other method."

[EDITOR'S NOTE: It is my understanding that Lovato's attorney did contact the executive director of the clinic Cayenne Gayla Wheatgrass in regards to this alleged incident and that Mrs. Wheatgrass had given Nurse Costapino a two-day suspension. Wheatgrass also promised him that in the future Costapino would ONLY be taking Miss Lovato's temperature orally.]

Demi admitted that at first she was very intimidated by the anger management instructor Talbot F. Neckingbrewster, mainly because he stood 6 foot 8, and weighed 290 pounds.

She did say that she never had any problem with him especially after she saw him slap one of the female patients a dozen times because she refused to let go of the tremendous anger that she felt for Katie Couric of CBS News.

Demi Lovato is currently writing a book on her experience at the rehab clinic. The tentative title is 'Hi I'm Demi Lovato (Rehab Clinic Patient #72931) And Let Me Give You Some Damn Good Advice - Behave! Behave! Behave!'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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