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Tuesday, 8 February 2011

image for Hollywood execs admit blunder over mix up with Danny and Frankie Boyle
Lights, camera, f*** off

Hollywood executives have today admitted their blunder in hiring the wrong Mr Boyle to direct one of their blockbuster movies! The error occurred last year when they made the trip to the UK to meet Mr Boyle to discuss his interest in directing a movie called: 'I Need Sympathy.'

Execs knew the calibre of Boyle with such hits as Trainspotting and Slum Dog Millionaire and did all they could to persuade him to direct the movie about a young gifted black, obese man, crippled in a car accident and realising his feelings for other men.

One exec told how Boyle laughed when they handed the script to him even asking where the hidden camera was, however the execs would not take no for answer and persisted until Boyle agreed.

'The first day was an absolute disaster,' said another exec. 'Mr Boyle met our leading actor Andrew Lightfoot for the first time and promptly said "Not so fuckin light-footed are we" and it was then we realised something was wrong.'

Things went downhill from there when Boyle leapt in to one of his stand up routines eventually reducing the leading actor to tears. Boyle is then reported to have said 'Now I've broken him in lets start filming you father f*****s.'

One bright exec decided to look up Danny Boyle on the internet and it was then he realised the mistake. 'It was like the moon hit me on the head,' he said. 'We had hired a bloody comedian to direct what was meant to be the Golden Globe, Pulitzer Oscar winner.'

Frankie Boyle's dalliance into the world of blockbuster film making was a short lived affair after he was paid off only working one day on set. He reportedly received over $1million in severance fees and is likely to be at Cannes this year hoping to pick up a new project now he has the film bug.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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