Written by Karen Fish
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Monday, 7 February 2011

image for Lindsay Lohan Steals Christina Aguilera's Super Bowl Anthem Lyrics

This year's X Factor semifinals featured Britney Spears vs. Christina Aguilera and Lindsay Lohan vs. Hillary Duff.

Christina Aguilera defeated Britney Spears handily when she tricked Britney into shaving her head while drinking and driving holding her baby and Lindsay Lohan defeated Hillary Duff when Lindsay successfully walked off with a pearl necklace in Venice, Italy without anyone noticing.

This set up a highly anticipated Lindsay Lohan Christina Aguilera X Factor Final, for $5 Million, winner take all.

Why is jewelry spelled jewelry and not jewlery? Reached at the Presidential Palace in Jerusalem Shimon Peres said "This dates back to Maimonidies aka The Rumbum."

According to MTV and the videotape of Christina Aguilera's rendition of the Star Spangled Banner at last night's Super Bowl Christina Aguilera changed "O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming" to "What so proudly we watched at the twilight's last reaming."

Ben Roethlisberger said "I thought she sang 'rimming.' A poll of Egyptians watching on the big screen in Tahrir Square had it 65% 'reaming' and 20% 'rimming' with 15% sentenced to be stoned to death for even talking about it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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