Written by Morse
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Monday, 7 February 2011

image for Bill Clinton Says Daughter Chelsea's Reported Marital Problems "Blown Out of Proportion!"
Chelsea's Husband Now Reduced to Using 'Sex Toys' to Help Him 'Do It!"

Bill Clinton flew to daughter Chelsea's defense after recent reports new husband Marc Mezvinsky had flown the coop for a three month delayed "bachelor party" on the slopes of a Jackson Hole ski resort.

Said the senior Clinton, "This situation has been blown out of all proportion, and will soon blow over. Every marriage has a few humps in the road...look at me and Hillary....she finally got over me and moved on with her life!"

Reporters on the scene say that Bill may have a point, as Marc was seen just yesterday in a local pharmacy loading up on Viagra, a sure sign. said one marriage councilor, that he was willing to try and make the marriage work.

One less charitable councilor said, " yeah, I saw him loading up on those little blue pills, but what you missed later was he was also loading up on brown paper bags...probably in an attempt to put a little 'kink' in his sex life....poor BASTARD!"

Mum Hillary has yet to weigh in on the matter being otherwise occupied screwing up American foreign policy will trying to put a spin on VP Joe Biden's uninformed pronouncements.

Chelsea also kept her lips sealed, possibly learning from Monica Lewinsky who was forced to swallow unending public ridicule and being the butt of jokes after her oral dissertations in the White House were made public.

Martha Stewart, local maven on NY mores offered a bit of advice.

"I noticed she's taken to the Pant Suit Posse uniform in recent months....no new husband wants to see his wife in a lime green baggy body suit when he's got romance on his mind...I don't care if all the President's women need to wear them to hide their arse, not to mention their sexual preference...it's not going to make him hard at bed time!"

Even Chris Matthews was forced to comment on the situation.

Looking into the camera last night on his sinking show "Hairball' he said, "I gotta tell ya......looking at Chelsea doesn't make my leg tingle......!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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