Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: Music, Gary Moore

Monday, 7 February 2011

image for Gary Moore Dead, Parisienne Walkways Quiet
When in Paris, do as the Parisians do - smell of onions

The streets of Paris were described as "calm and quiet" this morning after the unexpected death yesterday of former Thin Lizzy guitarist and acclaimed solo performer Gary Moore, who passed away in his hotel room whilst on holiday in Spain.

Irishman Moore, 58, played alongside the inimitable Phil Lynott, who is also dead.

Originally from Belfast, Moore is most famed for his haunting melody Parisienne Walkways, a lumbering, lolloping, rather obvious kind of guitar riff, which reached number 8 in the charts way back in 1979. The song put the French capital well-and-truly on the world map, and brought fame and fortune to many an onion seller.

Just a year later, in 1980, Adam & the Ants also had a hit with Young Parisians, which went to number 9, as people went wild for songs with a French theme. Plastic Bertrand's ridiculous Ca Plane Pour Moi which also, bizarrely, rose to number 8, had already drawn attention to the country in 1977.

Despite all of this musical success, France remains a place where people stink of onions, and where hairy armpits - even on women - are the order of the day.

French gendarmes were out in force early this morning to quell any remorseful public reaction to Moore's death, but say there was little or no trouble to report, with only a handful of people turning out into the streets with guitars strumming the woeful and tiresome chords to Moore's song.

Some footpaths were said to be 'desolate', with many others having an atmosphere of respectful calm. A bridge over the River Seine was described by an eyewitness as having an air of "sweet repose".

The cause of the star's death has yet to be ascertained, but could possibly be a result of a condition known as 'overplucking', where guitar strings are relentlessly plucked to the point where unfortunate listeners to the music are able to take no more, and expire.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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