The TV crew looked on in awestruck disbelief as a big fat arsed gypsy wedding took place today in Barwick In Elmet, North Yorkshire.
The set of the reality TV show My Big Fat Arsed Gypsy Wedding got even more surreal, when some people with obesity issues arrived in a horse drawn cart and exposed their buttocks to camera crews, before continuing on to ride ponies, a kangaroo, three and a half tons of scrap metal and a reputed former Girls Aloud bikini model, into a local public house.
Landlord, Barmy Barry said they didn't really mean anything by it - that they were just doing what gypsies do - like robbing houses, stealing pet dogs and riding horses round the lounge bar of a Monday lunchtime. He insisted that it was all perfectly in keeping with behavioural patterns of individuals who are a bit mad in the head.
The local council held an emergency meeting, and following a lengthy recess in the nearest pub, before - after studious deliberation - deciding that any misbehaviour was in no way related to the travelling folk.
"We're not racist here in Barwick In Elmet," Councillor Wilf Blunt announced. "Although strictly speaking, that isn't entirely true. To tell the truth, we're a little nervous about being taken to court for supposedly racist slurs. So, what we have to do, like, is pretend not to be racist, and whatever we do, to never come out and openly state that in our opinion, all gypsies are violent thieving scumbags who should be strung up. From a gallows or whatever. The PC brigade make such a stance unworkable, so we pretend that we're tolerant. When really, we aren't. At all."
Pub landlord Barmy Barry later admitted:
"I don't really like gypsies at all. They're a right pain in the arse to be honest. But I suppose you know where you stand with them. They're just mental in the head, and not half as scary as young black blokes with rucksacks."
The gypsies, along with their fat arses, pissed off in their caravans when the pubs shut. Shooting guns and throwing rotten tomatoes at local residents on the school run.