Written by Abel Rodriguez
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Sunday, 6 February 2011

image for Taylor Swift Denies The Scandalous Cory Monteith Rumor
Taylor Swift's closest friends say that she has fallen head-over-heels for Jake Gyllenhaal (again!).

HOLLYWOOD - Taylor Swift was asked by Bedroom Pillow Talk if it was true that she had in fact written three songs about her relationship with Jake Gyllenhaal.

Swift admitted that she had. She noted that each time she has broken up with a boyfriend she will write a song about him in order to give that particular period in her life the closure that she feels it needs in order for her to continue being one of the most successful young recording artists in the world today.

Swift pointed out to BPT's Preston St. Bolero that by writing a song about the failed relationship it helps to serve as a type of self-therapy, which she said not only saves her $90 an hour but also allows her to have more time to practice the glockenspiel which she has recently taken up.

Taylor was asked about the scandalous rumor about her and Cory Monteith star of the popular TV show Glee.

She revealed that she had in fact had breakfast last week with Cory at Pasadena's El Senor Panchito's Breakfast Taco Diner Numero 7.

Swift said that afterwards the two drove down to El Segundo and walked on an isolated part of the beach. And the next thing she knows the supermarket tabloid Grapevine Yakking is reporting on their front cover that Taylor was having Monteith's child.

Taylor called up the editor of Grapevine Yakking and asked him who had given him that false information. The editor replied that the info had come from a highly reliable, inside, unnamed source who had obtained the information from yet another highly reliable, inside, unnamed source.

Taylor disclosed to the GY editor that she had only gone out with Cory Monteith once and that the only time he even touched her was when he squashed a mosquito that had landed on her left elbow.

Swift did inform the editor of GY that she is currently in the process of working on her next single which will actually be her fourth song about her on-again, off-again, on-again relationship with Jake Gyllenhaal.

The song is titled, "Why Do We Keep On Throwing Our Love Away When We Know Darn Well That Like An Australian Boomerang The Son-Of-A-Gun Will Come Right Back?"

Taylor told Bedroom Pillow Talk's Preston St. Bolero that she has certainly dated a lot of different guys but the thing that she really likes about Jake is that he, like her, has a tremendous love of egg-laying hens, apple pies, and basket weaving.

Taylor Swift is 21. Jake Gyllenhaal is 31. And Johnny Appleseed would have been 236 on September 26.

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 3?

1 24 9 11

Go to top