Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 5 February 2011

image for Angelina Jolie Demands That George Clooney Apologize For Calling Her Kids, "A Pack of Brats"
A photo of the park's 'Creole Voodoo Swampland Dipster' which drops into a holding tank of live alligators.

LAKE CHARLES, Louisiana - Brad Pitt is currently in New Orleans filming the latest in the Indian Jones adventure series of films entitled, Indiana Jones - The Search For The Alternative Life Style.

The film also stars Harrison Ford, Neil Patrick Harris, Neil Diamond, and Lou Diamond Phillips.

While Pitt is filming in New Orleans Angelina Jolie decided to take their half dozen kids to the newly opened Giggling Gator Amusement Theme Park in nearby Lake Charles.

The park boasts the world's fastest roller coaster The Thundering Tornado Typhoon which travels at a record-breaking speed of 285 miles per hour.

The beauty of this particular ride is that there is no four foot tall height restriction as is the case with every other amusement theme park in the world.

Park CEO Beauregard Thibodeaux LaTruffles stated, "Heck we here at da Giggling Gator are not about ta keep a little kiddoe from riding one of our fabulous rides just because he or she happens ta be shorter than four feet tall.

Why hell Dustin Hoffman, Tom Cruise, and Justin Bieber are all shorter than four feet tall and they have all ridden da Thundering Tornado Typhoon several times each."

While the Pitt-Jolie kids were riding the roller coaster Angelina was asked by Fauna Goobergarden of The Tinsel Town Times Tribune what she thought about the disparaging remarks that George Clooney had made regarding her children.

Jolie became quite upset. She said that no one gets away with calling her kids a 'pack of brats. She said that her kids are all very well behaved, except for maybe 4-year-old Shiloh Diamond but that is only because she is having a hard time coping with the fact that she was born a little girl.

The star who possesses a pair of the most famous trout snout lips in the world raised her eyebrows and said that Shiloh has made it very clear to Brad and her that she will not wear little girl clothes, play with little girl toys, or even eat little girl food.

Angie said that Shiloh has already seen several expert gender therapists in Indonesia, Denmark, and Zimbabwe, but she still insists that she wants to be the quarterback and the hell with being a damn cheerleader (Shiloh's word).

Angelina told 5T that George Clooney had exaggerated some regarding the damage that her and Brad's children had done to his Bellagio, Italy mansion Villa Oleandra Oxen Free.

She said that it was true that the kids did write all over the driveway with chalk and that they had in fact scattered Legos all over the entry way.

Jolie admitted that 5-year-old Sahara Desert had stuck a Barbie Doll in the 200-gallon aquarium but she insisted that none of her children had smeared peanut butter all over one of his prized Giovanni Paolo Panini paintings, The Erotic Nymphs of The Secret Vineyards of Venice, which is valued at $1.9 million.

Angie said that all of her kids are allergic to peanut butter and if they even get anywhere near it and breathe the fumes they will break out in hundreds of hives.

Angelina Jolie asked that The Tinsel Town Times Tribune please print that her and Brad are demanding that George Clooney apologize for calling their kids a "Pack of Brats."

Fauna Goobergarden of 5T said that she was able to contact George Clooney and she told him about what Jolie had said. Clooney rolled his eyes and asked, "Now let me get this straight. Angie baby wants me, George "The Gorgeous" Clooney to apologize to her and Pitt for calling her kids a "Pack of Brats?"

Goobergarden responded by saying, "You got it Mr. Clooney."

"Well...Goobergarden is it?"

"Yes sir."

"Goobergarden, you can tell Angie Jolie and Bradley Pitt that I will not apologize to them for calling their kids a "Pack of Brats" and in fact I will now add that they are also a "Horde of Heathens" as well.

The Tinsel Town Times Tribune will continue bringing you the latest on what 5T Editor-in-Chief Murgatroyd Latherwick is referring to as "BratsGate."

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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