Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 3 February 2011

image for Anderson Cooper Attacked In Cairo, Egypt - Says He Felt Like He Was In Detroit
The CNN video camera that was used to record the attack on Anderson Cooper.

CAIRO, Egypt - CNN talk show host and International spokesperson for Dos Equis Beer Anderson Cooper was verbally, physically, mentally, and even geographically attacked by an angry mob of angry mob members in downtown Cairo.

Cooper, who with his solid white hair, sky blue eyes, and slender frame stood out like Kirstie Alley at an anorexic convention said that one minute he was interviewing a soldier about Egypt's 'Don't Ask - Don't Tell' policy and the next he was being hit repeatedly with camel whips, carpet remnants, and toy styrofoam pyramids.

Anderson's cameraman identified as Chester Fauntleroy of Natchitoches, Louisiana, kept filming the entire incident even though at one time he was being hit all about his body by a highly disgruntled goat herder who was hitting him with a baby goat.

Cooper and Fauntleroy managed to run towards a local McDonald's where they hid out until the American ambassador could be called. While sitting in a booth at Mickey D's Cooper was able to treat one of Faunty's scratches buy rubbing it with a McNugget and then covering it with an empty packet of ketchup.

Cooper was asked by a reporter for Tittle Tattle Tonight if he planned on leaving the country immediately.

Cooper shook his head and told the 3T reporter identified as Skippy Viperwater, that he would stay in Cairo until the mess is sorted out or until he maxes out his VISA credit card.

Anderson did tell Viperwater that when the angry mob first approached him he truly felt as if he was standing in the middle of the Hirohito Heights area of Detroit.

In a somewhat roundabout related story. A judge in Los Angeles has throw out the charges filed by Kathy Griffin who claimed that she was being stalked by Bristol, Willow, and Piper Palin.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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