Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 3 February 2011

image for Chelsea Clinton Dumped By Husband: She Moves In With Bill and Hillary - Marc Heads For Wyoming
A photo of Chelsea and Marc's dining room table. (Photo courtesy of Sasha Obama)

NEW YORK CITY - The one and only child of President Bill Clinton and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has been dumped by her husband of six months Marc Mezvinsky.

Mezvinsky, is a Wall Street investment broker and part time ski instructor. He is currently living in Bison Balls, Wyoming where he is teaching California girls between the ages of 19 and 23 how to ski, make snowballs, and play 'Wanna touch my Popsicle?

Tittle Tattle Tonight is reporting that Marc simply got tired of the fact that Chelsea is what is known as a habitual college student.

She has a bachelors degree from Stanford, plus master's degrees from University College, Oxford; and Columbia University in New York; and she is currently working on her PH D at Dr. Pepper University in Hackensack, New Jersey.

Mezvinsky admitted that just once he would have loved to have come home to a nice home cooked meal instead of coming home to a kitchen table filled with books, pens, calculators, reference books, T-squares, and a damn abacus.

He told Papaya Ruckusgarden of TTT that he got sick and tired of eating Swanson TV Dinners, Banquet TV Dinners, Marie Callender TV Dinners, and Ling Ling Chow TV Dinners.

Marc also said that Chelsea got to where she would hardly ever wear any makeup. He said that maybe Carrie Underwood, Heidi Klum, or Audra Patridge can get by without wearing makeup, but Chelsea not wearing make up made her look like a cross between Governor Jan Brewer of Arizona (yuckers) and Melissa Rivers, Joan's daughter (double yuckers).

Mezvinsky was asked about the fact that the Clinton's had spent close to $4 million on the extremely lavish wedding. Marc shrugged his shoulders and replied that he had told Bill three times that all he wanted was to get married by a justice of the peace.

President Bill Clinton was asked by 3T what his take on all of this Chelsea-Marc situation is. Clinton smiled and in Clintonesque form said, "Well I guess that it all depends on what your definition of 'is' is.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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