Written by Charpa93
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Wednesday, 2 February 2011

image for J.Lo Accentuates Best Ass-ets on American Idol to Steal Attention from Steven Tyler
Watch where you're looking buddy. My ass-ets are down here.

"The gloves are off," says a spokesperson for American Idol, referring to the sparring match Jennifer Lopez has challenged co-judge Steven Tyler with. Lopez claims Tyler is stealing the thunder from her unofficial come-back and, while she normally would take it lying down, this time, she's gonna take it standing up-in a dress that would melt the pants off a gay sailor.

Lopez has asked a private designer to come up with some show-stopping dresses that accentuate her best asset, her booty, while also calling attention to what Lopez calls "my perfectly-shaped bosom."

"I've got more than a few tricks up my sleeve and down my dress," claims Lopez. "For starters, you'll see me getting up a lot more often from the judges' table and going up to the contestants to comfort them, dance with them, even sing with them if they need me to so that we can get back to what this show is all about-me. I'll make the cameras follow me."

Lopez claims that it is getting just a tad weird that "the cameras are focused on a certain someone's big old lips. Gimme a break. What do you think viewers want to see here? Big lips or a big booty? If I have to, I can get some botox, but I'd love to see Steven Tyler try and get a boob job or an ass lift."

Meanwhile, Randy Jackson is rumored to have given Tyler the name of his plastic surgeon on the off chance that Tyler does decide to show J.Lo a thing or two about being the bigger celebrity, at least when it comes to showing your butt. And, in case no one has noticed, regardless of the size of Tyler's ass, Randy still seems to be able to find it, for the purpose of perpetually kissing it, just fine.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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