Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 2 February 2011

image for The Derek Hough and Cheryl Cole Fairytale Romance Appears To Have Hit A Sour Note
Cheryl Cole's "Pond Hopping" legs have certainly been getting quite a work out as of late.

HOLLYWOOD - The word coming out of Tinsel Town is that the much ballyhooed relationship between England's X-Factor sweetheart Cheryl Cole and America's Dancing With The Stars fan fave Derek Hough may have hit a sour note or four.

Bedroom Pillow Talk is reporting that the picturesque couple, which had been virtually inseparable appears to be going through a bit of some air turbulence.

BPT reported that just a few days ago the handsome duo had been spotted at a local Tacos, Tacos, And Mucho More Tacos having a nice dinner.

Afterwards, the two apparently had left some room for desert as they each had an order of the restaurant's signature desert Tres Leches Ice Cream (Three Milk Ice Cream).

The two ate their ice cream as they engaged in a game of 'footsie.' At one point Chezza, as she is known in England, Denmark, and Peru even playfully put her hand underneath the table and managed to touch Derek's diddly dipper (wiggle widget).

Hough reciprocated by reaching underneath the table and touching Cheryl's receiving chamber (play pen) with his cold fingers.

Chezza let out a bit of a yell that caused the establishment's manager to walk over to their table and ask if everything was alright.

The two finished their desert and left. On the way out a patron overheard Cole say that she was going to fly back to England to meet with her ex-husband Ashley Cole in regards to her nine pet goldfish which she had left with him by mistake.

Derek allegedly told her that he was not falling for the old goldfish trick. He told her that he wanted for her to prove her love for him by getting a tattoo on her neck that said 'Property of Derek Hough.'

Cheryl said that Amy Winehouse would be elected Miss United Kingdom before that piece of shite idea, as they say in Great Britain, would ever see the light of day.

And so with Ashley Cole salivating to get his ex-missus back. Will.i.am thinking that he could somehow, someway, possibly have a chance with Chezza. And Rosie O'Donnell asking "Maybe? Just Maybe?"

It appears that there is a line of folks positioning themselves to give the 'Cheryl Cole Lottery' a bit of a bloody bloomin' go as the residents of Upper Tooting, England say.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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