Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 3 February 2011

image for Ricky Gervais Signs On To Host The 2012 Golden Globe Awards
A photo of the salary that Ricky Gervais was paid to host this year's Golden Globe Awards.

HOLLYWOOD - Ricky Gervais who was a hit as the host of the recent 2011 Golden Globe Awards has just announced that he has already been approached about being the host for the 2012 Golden Globe Awards.

Gervais who has been described as having a razor sharp wit along with a rattlesnake like delivery said that he would be thrilled to once again show up with his six pack of beer and get paid tons and tons of money to simply tell the truth as everyone knows it to be, but as no one dares utter it.

He said that unlike this year, next year he will not hold back and be as kind as he was this year. He laughed and said that he is already working on some J.Lo humongous ass jokes, some Lindsay Lohan, Demi Lovato, and Charlie Sheen rehab clinic one-liners, and some cellulite jokes regarding the singer formerly known as Madonna.

Gervais said that he will also be including jokes about President Obama's birth certificate, Queen Elizabeth's collection of 1,403 hats, and that weird hairdoed foolish leader of the people of North Korea Kim Jong Il, or as Sarah Palin calls him "My new found BFF."

Rick who shoots from the hip stressed that he will also have to include jokes about the ex-singer, now turned quasi-actress and the undisputed oldest tattooed grandmother in America the ever so present Cher.

Ricky will also no doubt turn his sights on Joan Rivers and Heidi Montag who together possess more plastic in their bodies and on their faces than the Goodyear Blimp.

And since there is no one off limits one can only imagine that if Barbara Walters and Barney Frank the two biggest lispers in the entire nation ever got together and had a baby - the poor thing would be the only baby in the history of American babies to ever lisp the words "Goo-goo" and "Ga-ga."

Ricky Gervais is 49. Don Rickles is 84. And Attila the Hun would have been 1,605 this year.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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