Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 11 February 2011

image for Taylor Lautner and Bristol Palin To Star In A Remake of The Musical Dance Classic "Singing In The Rain"
Bristol Palin and Taylor Lautner rehearsing for their roles in 'Dancing In The Rain.'

HOLLYWOOD - Noted American director-producer Sheboygan Saddlewood has announced to the Hollywood press that he has just agreed to produce Touchrock Films remake of the classic musical dance motion picture Singing In The Rain.

Starring as the male lead will be Taylor Lautner. Lautner has dated Selena Gomez and Taylor Swift in the past.

He is currently involved in a very passionate relationship with Lily Collins, daughter of the great Phil Collins who has stated publicly that he would not mind it one bit if Lautner one day became his son-in-law.

Collins has made it very clear through the entertainment media that Charlie Sheen had never ever better get within 100 yards of his dear, sweet Lily.

Phil recently read in The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle where Sheen had made a comment to Mary Hart of Entertainment Tonight that he would love to go out with Lily and see if she can sing as good as her dear old dad.

Collins did not take kindly to Sheen's remark and stated for the record that if he ever sees him walking down the street he will bite Sheen on both his knees, but not in a gay way of course.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Phil Collins is not at all gay, although there were those rumors which proved to be unsubstantiated that surfaced back in 1992 about him and Elton John when they were photographed dancing together at Petula Clark's 60th birthday party celebration at Buckingham Palace.]

Lautner will be starring in the role of Donnie Lockwood which was made famous by the great Gene Kelly. President Harry S. Truman in 1945, said after seeing Kelly in the movie Ziegfeld Follies, "Dammit, I say the little fella can sure flat out dance wowee zowee."

Bristol Palin, who placed third in this year's Dancing With The Stars will star in the role of Katarina Selden, which in the original film was played by Carrie Fisher's mom, Debbie Reynold's whose husband Eddie Fisher left her for Elizabeth Taylor, who then ended up dumping his womanizing ass for Richard Burton.

Young Palin agreed to do the movie but only on the condition that her DWTS dance partner Mark Ballas serve as her personal choreographer. Sheboygan Saddlewood said that he had no problem with that and informed her that he had hired another DWTS pro dancer, Edyta Sliwinska to be Taylor's personal choreographer.

Saddlewood also revealed that another cast member of Dancing With The Stars, Bruno Tonioli has agreed to sew all of Bristol Palin's dresses, skirts, blouses, and underwear.

The movie will be shot on location in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, in 3D and will also incorporate the new Smell-A-Vision concept.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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