Written by P.M. Wortham
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Tuesday, 1 February 2011

image for Denise Richards, Proof God has a Sense of Humor
Even a porn star can help kids tie their shoes.

Following a series or recent reports targeting the trials, tribulations and extreme good times had by one, Mr. Charlie Sheen, former wife and mother of Charlie's two daughters, Denise Richards, has declared that a porn star friend of Mr. Sheen was not fit to baby sit her kids. Looking at recent professional and personal choices of Ms. Richards, one has to fight, quite naturally mind you, the urge to burst out laughing.

None will argue the fact that Charlie is a bit of hound dog, frequently sticking his nose into pubs, strip clubs, white powdery substances and the occasional nether regions of a stripper or three. So when the news of Sheen asking a porn star lady friend to help watch his kids while he remained incapacitated, you have to give a nod to Sheen for wanting to provide some adult supervision for his children. "Adult" being the operative word here. What better baby sitting arrangement could a single man with kids hope for? A porn star that will also baby sit? Dude. Well done. Two sets of services provided on one visit. Sheen was just being practical.

Richards on the other hand remains as comedic as Sheen is irresponsible, declaring in the press that "no porn star will baby-sit my kids". Really? As if the act of appearing nude on film and performing some acts that were designed to be sexually stimulating somehow made you, or in this case Ms. Kacey Jordan, the porn star in question, unfit to spend time with small children. Things that make you go "Hmmm".

Apart from the semi-nude, lesbian kiss pool scene with Naomi Campbell in "Wild Things", Richards seems to have made a career of wearing tight fitting outfits or virtually no outfits at all in various movies, from bad Bond films to forgettable movies like "Undercover Brother". But it was the rush to pose nude for Playboy just after giving birth to her daughter that tells the best story. Clearly, it was an art piece.

While these Hollywood "B" list celebrities toss out tidbits to the press in an attempt to make themselves sound like model parents or even normal in some small way, we can sit back and enjoy their existence knowing that God had put them on this earth for entertainment purposes only.

Charlie thinking that a porn star could baby sit his kids and not have that fact discovered by the press? Funnier than hell.

Denise thinking that appearing in nude scenes on film made you an unfit caregiver and forgetting that she had done that herself? Freaking hilarious.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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