There was real excitement in Bangkok this evening when a writer on the satirical news website TheSpoof.com was witness to an incident that proves, almost beyond any reasonable doubt, that one of the site's members is a faster reader than another.
Thai-based time-waster, Moys Kenwood, was sitting at his computer wondering whether to go to bed or to have a quick wank, when he noticed from his Live Updates box that two site members were reading a story he had recently published.
The story, Andy Gray Gay SKYY Sports Exclusive, had been published at precisely 14:00:45, but by 14:54:51, was already being read by Stalybridge Celtic fan Iain B. He was closely followed by armfeetandtoe who decisively clicked on the terrible story at 14:55:59 - precisely one minute and 8 seconds after the Lancashire lout!
There was even more 'excitement', however, when 'arm' then appeared in the Live Updates box reading another Kenwood story just published, Cocks Of The Umbongos Story To Be Banned In Africa, at 14:56:42, a mere 43 seconds after he had clicked on the first story! Close on his heels, reading the same story at 14:57:19 was Iain, meaning that, notwithstanding the slim possibilty that Iain had read a story in-between Woods' two offerings, armfeetandtoe was by far the quicker in the reading stakes, and who would've thought that with a buttcrack like his!?
Neither of these two writers rated either of Kenwood's stories.
Not surprising, really. They are shite.