Written by Buck E Filbert
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Topics: Howard Stern

Monday, 31 January 2011

image for Howard Stern News: Mind Controlling Extraterrestrial Pods Discovered in Fred Norris's Audio Board
Is Fred Norris an Alien

Recently the electronic techs at The Howard Stern Show, Sirius Xm were doing a routine cleaning of Fred Norris's audio equipment. While cleaning it they saw a green object sticking out of one of the channels on the board. They pulled that audio slider channel and found a highly suspicious plant growing right out of the slider mechanism. No one could figure out how this plant found it's way into the audio board.

Morgan Freeman, noted extraterrestrial investigator and alien hunter, is a Stern show listener and has been for years. Freeman has seen a suspicious change in the behavior in the staff at the Stern Show lately.

"I became concerned with the marked change in the attitude and daily behavior of the staff at the Stern show" said Freeman, "they all have been running around like they're hypnotized or something. They're too mellow, too happy with themselves".

That's what originally tipped Freeman off to the chance the Stern staff had been taken over by alien influences.

Howard Stern has always said that Fred Norris was an alien. If you really look at Fred the proof is in the putting, that is one alien looking fucker. Freeman agrees.

Freeman is suspicious that Fred Norris is actually of alien heritage. The way his eyes are a little too close together and the way his mind works during Win Fred's Money are all a little suspect.

Once it was discovered that Fred was growing alien looking mind control pods in his audio equipment Howard called in botanist Dr. Hailey Powder, Powder an MIT graduate investigated the pod in question.

She did an extensive battery of tests and concluded that the pod growing out of Fred's board was indeed of extraterrestrial origin, the tests revealed the plant in question was emitting an unusual radiation that effects humans almost like morphine combined with LSD.

"It makes most people highly susceptible to the power of suggestion" said Dr Powder.

When asked why anyone would want to infiltrate and control the minds of the staff at the Howard Stern Show the Dr. said "that would be highly speculative and I deal in facts, I'd ask Mr. Norris they were being grown in his board". The Dr went on to say, "We feel the pod is just the tip of the iceberg, we've taken samples of that odoriferous, crusting chair Mr Norris stews in every day, we feel there's going to be something substantial there.

When questioned about this unusual turn of events Fred Norris declined to make a statement.

Norris did mumble something under his breath as he walked away, "this is most ridiculous bullshit I've ever heard".
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