Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 31 January 2011

image for Sandra "The Kissing Bandit" Bullock and Chely Wright To Record A Country Music Version of Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl And I Liked It"
Revlon has just revealed their brand new Sandra "The Kissing Bandit" Bullock Lipstick.

LOS ANGELES - Sandra Bullock, ex-wife of Jesse James, has recently been seen about town in the presence of Ryan Reynolds estranged husband of Scarlett Johansson.

Both Reynolds and Johansson have each filed for divorce on identical grounds of Alienation of Bodily Pro Rata Ipso Voluntarius Verbatim.

Ironically Johansson recently became one of Sandra "The Kissing Bandit" Bullocks female victims when Bullock kissed her right on the mouth during a nationally televised award show.

Some national tabloids including Grapevine Yakking, Say What?, and Just Saying all reported in their publications that the real reason for the Bullock-James divorce was due to the fact that Jesse James did not like the fact that his wife Sandy had French kissed Meryl Streep and Scarlett Johansson on national television.

Sandra of course denied those reports and stated that the real reason why she filed for divorce from Jesse James was because he was having affairs with at least four women who were completely covered with tattoos from their tata's to their hooha's and their buttola's to their labia majora's and/or labia minora's.

Bullock said that while she was away filming a movie in Redneck Ridge, Georgia her no good, low life, poor excuse for a friggin husband Jesse "Dick With Feet" James was playing "Hide The Tamale" with a bunch of carnival sideshow tattooed freakettes.

Meanwhile, Sandra's publicist Poindexter Clickowitz has just divulged the fact that Bullock will soon be going into the recording studio with popular country music artist and self-admitted lesbianite Chely Wright.

The two women will be recording a country music duet of Katy Perry's big hit "I Kissed A Girl And I Liked It."

Clickowitz was asked if the fact that Bullock was singing a song about kissing a girl with its obvious lesbianistic overtones didn't perhaps lend some credence to her ex-husband Jesse James claim about his ex-wife kissing Streep and Johansson as being the cause of their marriage breaking up.

Clickowitz shook his head and proclaimed that if every married American woman who has ever French kissed another woman ended up getting divorced then 87% of all marriages would end in divorce on those very grounds.

'Tittle Tattle Tonight' is reporting that the Hershey Chocolate Company makers of Hershey's Chocolate Kisses has just signed Sandra Bullock to a $2.6 million contract to be the official spokesperson for Hershey's Chocolate Kisses.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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