Written by mikewadestr
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Topics: Dean Martin

Sunday, 30 January 2011

Right out of hell, Dean Martin appeared on the New York City bar scene last night and brought with him the art of partying which has appeared to have been lost over the last 20 years or so.

Dean Martin was first discovered when a New York City police officer pulled over an older model Mercedes Benz that had black smoke billowing out of its exhaust pipe. The officer suspected the driver of being intoxicated. He had the driver step out of the car for a sobriety check and was absolutely shocked that it was Dean Martin.

The police officer was positive it was Dean Martin, because Martin showed him a 'get out of hell card', which, is also, known as a 'hell pass'.

The swaying Dean Martin told the stunned police officer: "It looks like I've been burning a bit of oil and am kind of low".

He then slapped his hand on his chest and said: "We've got to get this baby lubed up again!"

Right away, the cop knew exactly what Martin was referring to and proceeded to take him to the nearest bar.

The cop quickly radioed in his discovery and before you know it, Dean Martin, as he had done in the past, was drawing a huge crowd.

At the first bar he asked the bartender for some whiskey. The bartender poured a shot of Jack Daniels into a shot glass and as he was slowly pushing it towards Martin, Martin pushed the shot back and took the bottle saying: "Oh no, you take care of the little stuff and leave the big stuff to me".

When an excited reporter asked Martin how long he would be in New York City, he responded: "Until the devil finds out I'm gone. I guess you can kind of say that I "borrowed" this 'hell pass'. But don't worry, the devil is going to be passed out for a bit and when he does finally wake up…. Well let's just say I'm going to be here for a while".

"Never challenge Dean Martin to a shot contest".

When asked if everyone would get to see the 'Rat Pack' re-united Martin replied: "I don't think so. You see, Frankie is now the head foreman of the pitchfork team and Sammy is hell's chief heating engineer. Frankie likes the fact that he can poke anyone whenever he wants and Sammy just likes to turn up the heat".

When the police officer who pulled over Martin was asked why he was not arrested, the officer replied: "Who are you kidding? Who wouldn't want to party with Dean Martin?"


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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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