Written by mikewadestr
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Topics: Lindsay Lohan

Saturday, 29 January 2011

The phrase 'Timing is everything' was once again verified when Lindsay Lohan visited Pawn Stars star Rick Harrison's pawn shop yesterday afternoon in Vegas. Lohan walked into the shop just as Rick Harrison was blowing up over another boneheaded transaction that Chumlee had just completed with a customer.

Apparently, Chumlee had just purchased a customer's bugger collection for thirty thousand dollars. The customer claimed that the buggers were all from famous Americans such as George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Edison and so on. The customer provided authenticated paperwork which consisted of post-it-notes with the bugger owners signatures on them.

"This was just the final straw", growled an angry Rick Harrison. "Chumlee is just completely worthless and now I'm out thirty thousand dollars. I mean, just look at the signatures. They were all written with a flair pen. They didn't have flair pens when these guys were alive".

It was during Harrison's blowup that Lohan walked into the store and, upon seeing Chumlee, cried out: "Oh my god! You look just like me! Oh, this is so awesome! You can be my body double! No one would be able to tell the difference".

It was rumored that Lohan was stoned when she entered the shop.

Very, very, stoned.

After she spoke, Harrison asked her if she wanted him. When Lohan said yes, he asked her what she could give him. Lohan said all she had was a big pack of Big Red gum, to which Harrison replied: "Let's do some paperwork".

When asked what her plans were for Chumlee, Lohan replied: "He can fill in for me when I get sent to jail or have to go to rehab. He looks just like me. No one will be able to tell the difference. I am, you know, like I'm going to be in jail and rehab again. Like, probably a whole lot of times".

Chumlee seemed to take the idea in stride. As he left the store with Lohan he was doing a boogie and singing:

"I'm a sexy guy; I'm a really sexy guy".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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