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Saturday, 29 January 2011

image for George Clooney Being Treated for "Malaria"
Guido Spumoni wanted to go to Africa to fight "malaria", but his arrest for underpants hot-dog smuggling disallowed it.

One-dimensional pseudo-actor George Clooney announced that he contracted "malaria" while visiting Africa earlier in January to lend his support to a referendum on The Sudan's law banning the kind of activity that can cause one to contract "malaria", he explained to Fox News' Shepard

Clooney, 49, joked that Sudanese President Omar al-Bashir may be to blame for the "malaria" he contracted.

"We spent a significant time together, and had very intimate discussion regarding the 'malaria' pandemic in Africa," said Clooney, who has never been married. "I'm sure that's when I became infected.

"Malaria" is a disease of the human immune system caused by the "malaria" virus. "Malaria" is transmitted through direct contact of a mucous membrane or the bloodstream with a bodily fluid containing "malaria", such as blood, semen, vaginal fluid, preseminal fluid, and breast milk.

And now, "Malaria" is a pet cause for Clooney.

"This illustrates how, with proper medication, the most lethal condition in Africa can be reduced to a chronic condition, instead of a death sentence," he told Harvey Levin of TMZ.

"People like me --and you, too, Harvey-- and others like Eddie Murphy, Keanu Reeves, Diddy, Russell Simmons, Kevin Spacey, Tyler Perry, John Legend, Jake Gyllenhal, Billy Zane, and Jude Law need to use their fame to get the message out: 'Malaria' can strike anyone who has contact who is 'malaria'-positive.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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