Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 24 January 2011

image for Ashley Greene's Vampire Movie "Lady Labia - The Scourgess of The Carpathian Mountains" Is #1 In Holland, Cuba, Iran, and Kenya
A recent snapshot of Ashley Greene's hermaphrodite guinea pig 'King Connie.'

HOLLYWOOD - Tittle Tattle Tonight is reporting that Bandini Borrapelli's vampire film Lady Labia - The Scourgess of The Carpathian Mountains which stars Ashley Greene has only been out for one week and it has already been named the number one film in Holland, Cuba, Iran, and Kenya.

The movie which is based on the book by Hamilton T. Applecreek opened to rave reviews in the United States but it was relegated to number four behind the number three movie Beating Around The Bush - The True Story of President George Dubya Bush, the number two film Chillaxin' a movie that reveals a lot of intimate details on the Oprah Winfrey-Gayle King friendship, and the number one movie, The Wild Weeping Ducks of Western Wisconsin, which is a Canadian documentary.

When contacted and told that her movie was number one in four countries Ashley screamed out "Yessssss!" When told that the four countries were Holland, Cuba, Iran, and Kenya Ashley asked, Whaaaaaat?"

"How about America?" She asked.

"Number 4."

"And Canada?"

"Number 9."


"Number 17."

Ashley said that she had to hang up the phone because she was not feeling too good. She told 3T that she would probably call up one of her three co-stars, Brock Kelly, Chace Crawford, or Jackson Rathbone, and seek some comfort in the arms of one of those guys.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Interestingly enough Ashley Greene actually dated each one of her three co-stars. She smiled and said that two had hit home runs and that one had only gotten to third base.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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