Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 22 January 2011

image for "The Little Fockers" and "The Tourist" Are Both Already Available At Blockbuster And At Red Box
Ben Stiller and Jessica Alba in the not so funny menage-a-trois scene from The Little Fockers.

HOLLYWOOD - Two of the biggest movie bombs of the year, The Little Fockers and The Tourist are already available at most Blockbuster Video Stores and Red Box outlets throughout America, except for Doohickey, Arkansas which has neither a Blockbuster nor a Red Box.

Sherman Londonstone, head of Hi Yo Silver Screen Movie Distributors in Tarzana, California said that the movies were both pulled from nearly all 18,409 movie theaters in America.

Londonstone said that he had not seen such movie flops since 1997's Diary of An Alcoholic Dairy Farmer which starred Billy Bob Thornton, Courtney Love, Geraldo Rivera, and Puffy The Wonder Cow and 1999s Old West-science fiction thriller Hey Mosey On Over To The Space Ship Y'all starring Billy Bob Thornton, Madonna, and Brett Favre.

Mr. Londonstone stated that both pictures will lose a combined total of $31,894,937. He disclosed that he heard that the producers of The Tourist asked both Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie if they wouldn't mind giving back at least half of their salary.

Depp reportedly replied, "Eff no!" and Jolie was heard to have yelled out "Are you effen kidding me? Do I look like Mrs. Santa Friggin Claus to you or what?"

Meanwhile the producers of The Little Fockers sent emails out to all of the film's stars asking them to please, please, please, return some of their salary and they are still waiting for replies.

In other news. The rumor that Ashton Kutcher's wife Demi Moore is pregnant with her ex-husband Bruce Willis' baby is not true. Bruce reportedly told a reporter for Tittle Tattle Tonight that he could barely stand to see Demi with her clothes on much less naked.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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