CHICAGO - Sarah Palin who lately has not been having a good "Hair Year" has now met head on with yet another controversial subject. And this one hits very close to home; and to be real specific and zero in on it, her bed.
Palin decided to appear on The Oprah Winfrey Show in an attempt to try and explain the behind-the-scenes developments in the developing story
Sarah was visibly shaken as she confided to Winfrey some very personal and intimate details regarding her marriage to Todd Palin.
The basic nature of the controversial subject matter lies with the alleged accusations that were made by a woman named Shirley "Silk Fingers" Trippavuckovich, who is employed as a pedicurist in Wasilla, Alaska.
Silky Tripp as she is known claims that her and Todd had a relationship that bordered on being sort of like the one that Todd and his wife Sarah should have been having if old "Snowflake" hadn't been trapezing all over Alaska filming for her reality show Sarah Palin's Frozen Alaska.
"Crosshairs" Palin as she has been nicknamed apparently spent way too much time away from her husband fishing for halibut with daughter Bristol, hunting for caribou with her father Chucky, and camping with the world's worst, unhappiest, and most bored camper of all time Kate "Graceless" Gosselin and her eight (8) kiddoes, aka brats.
Palin showed the world that she was a type of "Loose Moose" who loved nothing better than putting on guy clothes, guy boots, guy underwear, and even a guy jock strap and turning herself into a white wilderness cross dresser.
And while "Shotgun" Palin was busy becoming 'one of the guys' it appears that husband Todd was busy relishing the attention that he was receiving from a female who knew she was a female and acted, talked, dressed, and smelled like a real honest-to-goodness woman, the kind that every red-blooded American male (even the ones in the murky bayou swamps of Louisiana) love to hold in their arms and charm.
Silky Tripp allegedly told her landlord Gunther F. Shockbrewster that Todd had told her that he hated the fact that Sarah was a much better shot than he was. He said that she used to brag that she could hit a baby squirrel in its left earlobe at 300 yards.
Saracuda also used to brag to Todd that if she ever found out that he had been unfaithful to her that she would take a pair of reindeer antlers and turn him into Clay Aiken.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: I guess that what "Crosshairs" meant was that she would probably remove Todd's onions and he would then become a soprano singing about two octaves higher than his normal singing voice which would make it sound a little like Clay "The Gay" Aiken.]
After Winfrey had finished interviewing Sarah Palin she asked her what she was planning on doing. Old "Dog Sled" Palin looked at her and in her Alaskan accent replied, "Ya know Opera, gosh darnit, I wish I effen knew because right now I just wanna go outside and shoot me a moose, a caribou, an elk, or a damn frickin reindeer gee willakers."
Winfrey frowned and said, "Well lemmy tell ya sumtin girlfriend, right now juby in Chicago, dis ain't Wasilla, Alaska so I suggest dat ju just go on back to da hotel room and lay jurself down before ya get jurself in a passel of trouble and dat be da friggin troot uh huh?"
After the show Sarah Palin confided to Oprah Winfrey that if the allegations of Todd's infidelity prove to be true she will consider leaving Alaska and moving to North Korea.