Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 21 January 2011

image for Playboy Mogul Hugh Hefner Reveals Why Nude Photos of Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, and Dakota Fanning Do Not Exist
All of Hugh Hefners boxer shorts reportedly have this Playboy logo on the front.

LOS ANGELES - One of the top news programs in America, Tittle Tattle Tonight is reporting that they have irrefutable evidence regarding so called nude photos of some of America's most popular young female singers.

3T's Papaya Ruckusgarden stated that she interviewed Hugh Hefner at his Playboy mansion in California and she asked about the so called nude photos of Lovato, Fanning, Cyrus, and Gomez.

The 85-year-old owner of Playboy Magazine shook his head and said, "Now Papaya, you're a mature woman of what 32?"

"31." Papaya responded.

"Fine. 32. And you know from dealing with all types of stories about nudity, nakedness, and the unclad bodies of hundreds of females that they all have one thing in common and that is that the women who posed in the buff were all of age.

Now Demi, Dakota, Miley, and Selena are not of age and if someone takes a naked photo of them then that individual could end up in prison where he could end up being turned into a human piƱata."

Hefner went on to say that there is no man in America who has seen more female tata's (tits), badonkadonk's (butts) or hooha's (crotch cookies) than he has.

Hef said that guys who think they're players like Charlie Sheen, George Hamilton, and Warren Beatty are merely Disney Mouseketeers compared to him when it comes to having seen naked and nude females.

The king of the Playboy Empire who will soon be entering into wedded bliss with a woman who is young enough to be his great-granddaughter said that there have been many times when he has seen more naked females in just one hour than most men see in an entire lifetime.

When asked what he attributed the fact that he can still perform like a man one/third his age, the Hefster smiled, took a drink of his bottled diet water and said, "I could not do it without my little blue buddies."

"Blue buddies?" Papaya puzzlingly asked.

"Yes my little army of Viagra pills."

Hugh Hefner was asked that of all of his thousands and thousands of Playboy Playmates which one was his favorite.

He grinned, shook his head, grabbed his crotch and replied "That would have to be Barbi Benton. Wow! I swear that sweet young thing had one hell of a sense of humor. Barbi was the only woman in my life who used to make me laugh so hard that I would literally pee in my pants."

Papaya smiled and softly whispered to herself...TMI.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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