Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 21 January 2011

image for Larry King Bombshell: "My Replacement Piers Morgan Ain't Gonna Last!"
The recently retired Larry King wanted Ryan Seacrest To Replace Him.

BEVERLY HILLS - Larry King, who was the "King of Talk Shows" proclaimed from his Beverly Hills mansion that the man who replaced him at CNN is not going to last.

King speaking with Putty Boxbrick, a reporter for The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle (4C) said that he had seen the first week of Piers Morgan Tonight and that he was not at all impressed.

King pointed out that the first show was actually filmed at a Motel 6 in Manhattan. He then noted that he would like for Morgan, who is a native of England to succeed but that it just ain't gonna happen.

When Boxbrick asked him why not he replied that there were several reasons. King said, "For one thing, the show has about one/tenth the budget that my show had. So you ain't gonna have much in the way of a set. My shows set had over 30,000 colored light bulbs flashing on and off. Morgan's set has two white bulbs that don't do a damn freakin thing."

King went on to say that another thing that will spell doom for the show is the fact that Morgan can be very hard to understand due to his very pronounced British accent.

The man with the ever-present suspenders pointed out another factor. "Morgan just happens to be a very smug, arrogant, sarcastic, pompous know-it-all. And if there is one thing that the American people hate more than the Taliban and Al Qaeda it's a foreigner with a foreign accent acting like he owns the damn friggin place."

King mentioned that the show definitely needs to put subtitles on the screen because most people have no effen idea what the Brit is saying, especially those people who live in Arkansas, Arizona, Alaska, and Dallas.

The retired Larry King then confessed that perhaps the number one negative factor working against Morgan is the fact that his show, unlike Live With Larry King is filmed and is not live.

King said that the American viewer does not want to see another Oprah Winfrey Show, or another Ellen DeGeneres Show, or another The View show which are all taped.

Larry King reportedly confided to long time friend and ex-lover Cloris Leachman that he wanted Ryan Seacrest to replace him. He said that he has hated Piers Morgan ever since Morgan said that his suspenders made him look fat.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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