SAN ANTONIO - Taylor Swift was in San Antonio taking a tour of the famous Alamo when she was approached by a reporter for the national news program Bedroom Pillow Talk.
The reporter Metzenbaum Kassenbaum had previously been the first reporter to break the story of Swift's breakup with Jake Gyllenhaal.
Kassenbaum was also the first reporter to report on the Madonna-Nancy Grace feud, the Madonna-Rihanna feud, the Madonna-Miley Cyrus feud, and the Madonna-Pope Benedict XVI feud.
MetKa as his editor calls him knows Madonna very well. He has a sister who used to be Madonna's upstairs maid. MetKa said that his sister used to tell him that La Diva, as she called her behind her back could not friggin get along with anyone.
She also mentioned that Madonna has also had feuds with Sofia Vergara, Selena Gomez, Justin Bieber, and even the "First Mama" Michelle Obama.
When MetKa asked his sister if there was anyone in the world that Madonna liked she thought about it for nine minutes and then mentioned that Madonna did like David Letterman because the two share the same gapped front teeth affliction.
Kassenbaum asked Taylor if there was anything intimate about herself that she cared to reveal and if she had written any songs about her breakup with Jake since she always writes songs about guys once she breaks up with them.
Taylor grinned, took a sip of her Diet Dr. Pepper and said that she had just finished writing a song about Jake while she was having breakfast at a local Tacos, Tacos, and Mucho More Tacos.
Swift said she titled the song, "Okay So You Stole My Heart But Thank Goodness That I Still Got My Hymen You Lie-Spewing Varmint."
MetKa thanked her for that intimate secret and to express his gratitude for the scoop he bought her a Don't Forget To Remember The Alamo T-Shirt.
In non-related news. The rumor that the Indianapolis City Council voted to change the spelling of the town's name to the more politically correct Kickapooapolis is totally false.