Written by Paris Silton
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Tuesday, 18 January 2011

image for Piers Morgan, Ricky Gervais and Simon Cowell: Americans Just Don't Get the British
Americans need to take a clue from the British and lighten up

Less than 24 hours after slapping Ricky Gervais for being disrespectful to the hallowed saints of Hollywood at the Golden Globes, the New York Times chided Piers Morgan for not being dangerous enough when interviewing Oprah Winfrey in the debut of his new talk show, "Piers Morgan Tonight."

We Americans just don't get it. The British have class, good sense and perspective. Furthermore, they love a joke on themselves - something American celebrities can't stomach, as evidenced by the plethora of phone calls made post-broadcast to Ricky Gervais by their "representatives". Seems they're not just crybabies, but crybabies who must hide behind a mouthpiece.

Now, why would Piers skewer Oprah, whom everyone knows is the American Dalai Lama with a vee-jay and a TV show? Piers is smart enough to know better. He doesn't need to prove his apparent good taste, having already blacklisted Madonna for being "too boring" and "irritating". There's no doubt we'll see Piers in full snark with upcoming guests Ricky Gervais and Howard Stern - he won't be side-stepping any landmines there.

As for Ricky Gervais, he was invited back a second time for having transformed the Golden Globes telecast in 2010 from a snore fest to sharp and lively entertainment. The ratings climbed this year as well -- another five percent. Sure, some of his comments this time around were pretty rough, but have we forgotten what he said to Kate Winslet when she won Best Supporting Actress for "The Reader" in 2010? "I told you, Winslet - do a Holocaust movie, and the awards come, didn't I?"

You can't help but admire a guy who has the hubris to bite the hand that feeds him. Of the president of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, he remarked "I had to help him off the toilet and pop his teeth in!" Fearless!

Equally fearless was Helena Bonham Carter, who, shunning the pretense and expense of a stylist, wore different-colored shoes, a standout Vivienne Westwood dress and a beehive updo gone wild to the Golden Globes. Her fun and whimsy - who would expect less from the Queen of Hearts? - was rewarded by a swift kick from the American fashion police.

Lord knows what will happen to American Idol now that Simon Cowell and his sharp-tongued but dead-on perspective is missing. Let's hope it doesn't degrade to the mealy-mouthed, "everyone gets a trophy" tone of Paula Abdul's new show "Live to Dance", a broadcast guaranteed to raise the insulin level of the majority of its viewing audiences while carefully tiptoeing around its sensibilities.

America, take a clue from the British and lighten up!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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