Written by churchmouse
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Topics: Gay, History, Oscar Wilde

Tuesday, 18 January 2011

image for Oscar Wilde wasn't gay
Honestly, the way that Oscar Wilde flounces about you would have thought that he was some kind of raving homosexual

New evidence emerged yesterday proving that the writer Oscar Wilde was not gay as was previously thought.

A diary belonging to one of Wilde's associates - The Marquis of Tewkesbury, shows an entry for the summer of 1898 when the Marquis and his companions were spending a weekend with Wilde at Eastbourne.

Splendid fun today. General Butler hired two bathing machines. One for the men and one for the ladies in order that we could all benefit from an immersion in the sea. Porters were employed to haul the machines into the water, and much hilarity was to be had when Mrs Pilkington-Wright was heard to declare that should she continue in the mode of a duck she would be likely to grow feathers. Everyone had an extremely gay time except for Oscar Wilde who refused to join in and spent the day in a public house - The miserable bastard!

The literary world has been rocked by this new evidence of Oscar Wilde's un-gayness, and it is thought that many of the books celebrating his life will now have to be rewritten.

Wilde's latest biographer, Dave Bathplug from Chelmsford said: "I am totally shocked to learn that Oscar Wilde wasn't gay. It's well documented that he had anal sex with other men, and you would have thought that anyone who allows another bloke to do that to you must have had a sense of humour".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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