Written by Nick Hobbs
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Tuesday, 18 January 2011

image for Sarah Jessica Parker In Lucrative Advertising Deal
SJP, leaving the Polycell head office, after 'sealing' the deal.

With news hot off the press that ageing star of Sex And The City, Kim Cattrall, is to be the face of Olay's new range of anti-ageing creams, it comes as no surprise that co-star and ex-face of Horse And Hound, Sarah Jessica Parker, has also lined up a lucrative advertising deal.

The star, who is often seen trying to out-do her supposed 'friend', has been offered a 'substantial amount' to be the face of Polyfilla.

Polycell, manufacturers of the branded DIY crack filler, say they are 'honoured' to have such an eminent star of stage and screen to sell their products.

"We are honoured," said a spokesperson, "to have such an eminent star of stage and screen to sell our product! We can't think of anyone more suitable. Except the crater faced Mel Gibson, but he's not very good for business at the moment."

Adverts will show SJP smothering her wrinkled prune-like face in the fast setting product, and then attending an awards ceremony, much to the shock and awe of onlookers, at how smooth-faced and young she looks.

"I know our product is designed for wood and plasterboard," continued the spokesperson, "but the point is, if it can cope with wrinkles that deep, just think how smooth your lounge will look!"

Early reports suggest that American firm Muralo, who make the US version 'Spackle', are in talks with SJP already, regarding a similar campaign Stateside.

Smooth.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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