Written by Nick Hobbs
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Tuesday, 18 January 2011

image for Ricky Gervais Set Upon Backstage By Hollywood Elite At Golden Globes
Hugh Hefner, fighting as a young man in the middle ages.

With the question still burning as to what happened to Ricky Gervais, for the second half of the Golden Globe awards ceremony, an eyewitness has stepped forward to reveal a shocking revelation.

Marty Wondergrist, star spotter and 'hanger-on', was no where near the backstage area when he claims a huge throng of top Tinseltown icons ganged up on Gervais, and 'roughed him up'.

"I couldn't believe it, I saw several top line actors pushing Ricky, and then an actress who is famous for buying children from all over the world stepped up and kneed him in the chest," said Wondergrist.

"The scuffle escalated," he continued, "when Gervais' security tried to get to him, but Downey Jr and De Niro held them back, I was shocked."

Gervais is reported to have sustained several bruises and a punctured lung (not confirmed) in the fight.

"I saw the head of the HFPA (the organisers of the event, that Gervais publicly humiliated on stage) stamping on Ricky's face at one point," Wondergrist alleged, "and Hanks and Allen had a tag-team thing going on, with double clothes-lines and a lovely double-suplex manoeuvre, that some WWE stars would struggle to perform, especially on concrete!"

The fight was stopped when Hugh Hefner arrived by limousine, wielding a butchers knife.

Gervais' agent refused to comment on his welfare, but the star has seemingly disappeared from public view, fuelling rumours that he has taken time out to heal his scars.

"Well, I thought he was bloody funny, and good on him for taking the so-called elite down a peg or two," said everyone who was watching.

More as we make it up.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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