Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 16 January 2011

image for Katie Price Tells Alex Reid That She's A Young Brigitte Bardot And She Doesn't Need Him
This is one of Katie Price's skirts that she will be giving to Alex Reid's female alter-ego 'Roxanne.'

LONDON - The London Morning Mincer Review is reporting that the Katie Price - Alex Reid marriage is on the rocks and headed for the big "D" (divorce).

After the couple separated last week Alex moved in with his Mom.

The 35-year-old cage fighter has stated that he does not want to get divorced as he is somewhat happy with being married to Jordan, as Katie is known throughout Great Britain, Finland, the Netherlands, and Boston Massachusetts.

Meanwhile Katie Price has made it known to all within hearing distance that she considers herself to be a young Brigitte Bardot and she does not need Alex.

She went on to say that she is tired of having to buy his clothes, his shoes, and his condoms.

Alex says that it may be true that Katie buys his clothes and his shoes, but he sternly stated that he has always bought his own condoms.

Reid has told Katie that he wants for her to give him £1 million [$1.6 million U.S.]. Price has offered him £20,000 [$31,736].

Katie is adamant about not giving him a penny more. She told Alex that she would also let him have their dog Sissy, which was a gift from Elton John.

Alex reportedly asked "And what about the two canaries Peter and Gordon?" She said that he could have them as well.

"And the two goldfish Chad and Jeremy" he asked.

Katie told him that he could have Chad but that she wanted to keep Jeremy since it reminded her a lot of her aunt Gretchen whose hair was exactly the same color as Jeremy.

Reid then asked Katie if she would allow him to take some of her clothes and underthings for his female alter-ego Roxanne. Katie smiled and said that Roxanne could pick out two blouses, two skirts, a bra, and three pairs of knickers.

"And shoes?" Alex asked.

"Take the pink open toed pumps" Katie replied.

In related news. Simon Cowell, who has a two cigarette pack a day habit, was asked if once Jordan is divorced if he would like to date her. Cowell shook his head and replied that he wouldn't date that Price woman if both her tits tasted like nicotine.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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