Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Saturday, 15 January 2011

image for Justin Bieber Says He Will Join The French Foreign Legion
Justin Bieber In A Few Years

Hollywood, CA - Teen-idol Justin Bieber says he wants to join the French Foreign Legion as soon as he turns 18 in 2012. The shaggy-haired singer says he can't wait to have his head shaved after he joins the famed military force. Justin wants to change his image, and be "a real tough-ass dude".

"I want to be a soldier. I want to learn how to kill, kill, kill!" said the androgynous adolescent. "I want to learn how to garrote people and how to kill people with my bare hands!" he said with glee. "I'm tired of all this girlie-boy stuff--look out world!" he said passionately.

Justin plans to serve in Afghanistan or Tunisia, after basic training. If he's not accepted into the Foreign Legion, Justin says he will become a soldier-of-fortune.

"I want blood, guts, and glory! I want to kick ass all over the world, and die in battle! Viva la France!" he shouted.

There is something that Justin wants to do, before he joins the Foreign Legion.

"I want to shave. I still haven't grown any whiskers. I shaved my legs once, but I don't think they let you do that in the Foreign Legion."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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