Sarah Palin shocked the world today by announcing she has decided to convert to Catholicism and join a convent. According to Ms. Palin she is going to do this in order to heal her youngest son Trig (short for Trigonometry) of his "retard" affliction.
Evidentially the God in her Non-Denominational Christian religion she has belong too for most of her life isn't cutting it when it comes to as she puts it "answerin' my prayers. I poop out this little monster Trig; then I get stuck with a broken down old fart as a Presidential Candidate screwin' up my Vice Presidential aspirations; then I find out my dirty little slut daughter, Bristol, is knocked up by a half-wit, how much more can a strong woman take? "
Sarah continues "I've been doing my part Jesus, convertin' moron's from the Republican party to the Tea Baggers; makin' my little slut daughter go out and talk about not givin' the milk away when they can get the cow for free; startin' a good ole' fashioned reality show about this beeaaauuttiffuuulll state of AlaskA!. It must be I'm following the wrong Jesus. It seems like all those Kathlicks get everything. I mean look at those Kennedy families and the Pope. Also too also they have a lot more political power in the Government these days it seems."
Sarah was introduced to the Catholic religion by "the whore loving" Senator from Louisiana, Republican David Vitter, during December of 2010. In typical Sarah Palin control freak fashion she is going over the top and becoming a Nun. Well we'll let Sarah explain why: "Hey I told Todd we ain't going to be able to have anymore kids until the Good Lord and me get my uterus figured out. If I am going to keep on pushin' out circus freaks I might as well put up my little grizzly bear in mothballs. So the sooner I get down to gettin' the cooch blessed by a priest or Bishop or church King or something the sooner Todd will get to walk in my secret garden. He's all for it."
According to WikiSquirts sources Todd is glad to see her out of the picture for awhile and plans to pitch a reality series to Versus about hunting liberals in the Alaskan bush country. He thinks it will be "reallllll funny, shuk, shuk"
So does this mean the end of Sarah Palin's run for President in 2012? Oh no as she puts it "I'm gonna take the camera's into the convent and film my hoohoo gettin' healed and exercised of its retard demon. That should be done by fall campaign season 2011. Regrettably the reality show will be a one time run, but I plan on getting back into another series once I take over the evil in Washington."