Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 12 January 2011

image for The Joy Behar Vs. Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi Feud Is Getting Downright Dirty
A photo of "Snooki" Polizzi's Thanksgiving Pizza. (Photo courtesy of Charlie Sheen).

NEW YORK CITY - The feud between Joy Behar and "Snooki" Polizzi has been ignited and now gasoline has been throw on the fire.

Behar, the 68-year-old co-host of The View as well as the host of her own show on the Headline News Channel The Joy Behar Show, and the Weather Channel's The Big Old Windbag Reports says she was merely minding her own business when suddenly out of nowhere (actually New Jersey) she was verbally attacked (with words) by Nicole Polizzi, alias "Snooki."

The Right Coast Illustrated Revue wrote that Polizzi had stated that Behar has one of the most fake Italian accents that she had ever heard. She then added that Sarah "Crosshairs" Palin sounds more Italian than Joy "The Boy Toy" does.

Polizzi, who stars in the very popular reality show, The Jersey Shore is 23, but at times looks 33, added that Barbara Walter's sidekick is so old she can remember when the East River was nothing but a frickin little creek.

Behar came back by saying that Polizzi is one to be talking about Italian accents since she isn't even Italian, Behar angrily pointed out, "'ey da effen munchkin was born in Chile for goodness sakes...Chile! dats down der around Argentina, Peru, Bolivia, and Laos."

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Nicole Polizzi was in fact born in the town of Como Se Llama, Chile and as for Behar referring to her as a munchkin she is correct since at standing only 4 foot 9 inches tall (short) Nicole does fall into the officially recognized munchkin category.]

Right Coast Illustrated Revue went on to state that "Snooki" has informed them that Beharlot as the cast of The Jersey Shore refers to Behar, has now converted over to Judaism because her husband Moshe Sol Myron Menachem Goldjanowitzberg is a third degree Jew.

"Snooki" remarked, "So lissen up on dis one people. Joy Behardon now sez dat she ain't no guidette (Italian) now da Manhattan Muffin she sez dat she's a Jewishina princess. Well if da Naomi Campbell lookalike is a Jewishina princess den I'm friggin Carla Bruni Sarkozy dat singing first lady bitch who is married to da president of France "Tricky" Nicky Sarkozy."

Reports filtering out of the Left Coast say that Ellen DeGeneres, one of America's most popular lesbianites has stated that she wishes that Joy and "Snooki" would simply kiss and makeup.

When informed of Ellen's wish Joy said that she wouldn't kiss the "Munchkin's" lips if Donald "The Hairdo From Hell" offered her 50,000 freakin bucks!

"Snooki" replied that Ellen can fly her mother friggin lips to New York and kiss that skanky looking Joy's cellulite-infested lips herself, especially since according to the word on the streets of Bed-Stuy (Bedford Stuyvesant) Behar is leaning a little bit towards giving the idea of 'Yodeling in the Canyon' a try.

From The Strange But True Department: Scientists are reporting that for some totally messed up reason female penguins in Iceland have started laying their eggs on the crotches of unsuspecting hibernating polar bears.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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