Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 10 January 2011

image for The Unbelievable Reasons Why The Gay Hair Stylist To The Bachelorettes On The Reality Show "The Bachelor" Was Fired!
Ramon of Redondo Beach shown dancing at West Hollywood's Club Sidesaddle. (Photo courtesy of Adam Lambert).

LOS ANGELES - According to an article which appeared in The Los Angeles Watchdog Witnesser newspaper executives of ABCs The Bachelor have fired the shows hair stylist to the bachelorettes Ramon of Redondo Beach.

In an exclusive interview with LA2W the shows director Grover Tiffgolden stated that several of the bachelorettes had complained to him that Ramon, while fixing their hair, made some remarks that they felt were way out of line, especially coming from a gay guy.

One of the girls, Britt Billmaier, who is a chef and who also writes diet articles for Kicking Calories In The Butt Food Magazine, informed Mr. Tiffgolden that while Ramon was fixing her bangs, he mentioned to her that perhaps after the show she could go back to his apartment in Redondo Beach and he would show her some of his cooking utensils.

Billmaier added that Ramon then told her that he would love to rub spaghetti sauce all over her tigbitties (boobs) and then lick it off in slow motion.

Another bachelorette Kim Coons, who was a former Carolina Panthers cheerleader, expressed to Tiffgolden that while Ramon was working on her cowlick, he mentioned that he himself had also been a cheerleader back when he was attending J. Edgar Hoover Jr. College in Pomona.

Coons stated that Ramoncito, as he had asked her to call him, had invited her to his apartment in Venice Beach where the two could practice doing cheerleader yells, playing with their pom poms, and doing the splits in the nude.

And cosmetologist Raichel Goodyear, a native of Orange County, California confessed to the shows producer that Ramon had made some extremely vulgar comments about her cleavage.

Raichel, who for some reason spells her name with a wayward "i", noted that while trimming her split ends Ramon had winked at her three times, smacked his lips in a suggestive manner, and casually touched his dinky dink (wiggly worm) while inviting her to visit him at his Malibu Beach home.

She said that he told her that he would be more than glad to give her some of his patented expert tips on applying eye liner, mascara, eye shadow, plus he would be honored to give her a free 'strings attached' Brazilian Rain Forest Bikini Wax Job, for which he normally charges $135.

When Tiffgolden approached Ramon with these allegations he merely grinned, licked his lip-sticked lips, and replied that the three women were all making up their stories because everyone knows that Ramon of Redondo Beach is as gay as Clay Aiken if not gayer.

SIDENOTE: Ramon's limp-wristed excuse did not fly with Tiffgolden and he was told to gather up his pink hand-held hair dryers, his pink combs, and his pink open-toed pumps and leave the building. Ramon has stated that he plans to hire famed gay attorney Bubby Fubblefite and fight to get his job back.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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