Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 15 January 2011

image for Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber To Star In The Film "The Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore Strange But True Story"
Ashton Kutcher on the right directing a commercial for Paul Bunyan Condoms. (Photo courtesy of Brittney Jones).

HOLLYWOOD - According to Justin Bieber's publicist Poindexter Clickowitz Justin will be starring with Lady Gaga in MZM Pictures production of The Ashton Kutcher And Demi Moore Strange But True Story.

Clickowitz said that at first the part of Ashton Kutcher, which Justin Bieber will be portraying was offered to Joe Jonas of the infamous Jonas Brothers.

But Joe apparently balked at the idea of having to kiss the much older, maturer, and lascivious Lady Gaga.

When young Jonas was asked if the fact that Lady Gaga has a pretty good sized bulge in the crotch of her groin had anything to do with his decision, Joe smiled and made the 'just a little bit' sign with his thumb and index finger.

Bieber was then offered the role and he jumped on it immediately saying that ever since he dated the voluptuously big assed Kim Kardashian last year he has had quite a yearning to snuggle up to the four sexy main body parts of much older 'cougars.'

Justin has already written two of the songs for the film. He will sing one at the beginning of the movie and the other one at the end as the credits and the movie outtakes role.

When asked for the song titles Bieber answered that the first song is titled, "When I First Saw Demi's Big Old Knockers I Almost Fainted."

He grinned, took a sip of his Coca Cola Zero, and said that the film's closing song will be, "Cellulite Ain't Nothing But Cottage Cheese That Don't Ever Go Bad."

When Lady Gaga was asked what she thought about working with Justin Bieber she replied, "Justin Bieber? I thought they told me that I was going to be getting it on with Joe Jonas."

Lady Gaga rolled her eyes and said that she guesses that Justy will do okay especially since he has been with Kim Kardashian.

Ashton Kutcher will be on the set as the chief consultant. He will also be filming a video for his brand new reality show, Ashton Kutcher Reveals Exactly How and Why Demi Lets Him Get Away With All Kinds of Sh*t.

SIDENOTE: Kutcher's much older wife Demi Moore will not be on the set as she is still reeling from the embarrassment of her husband's utter disregard for their marriage vows when he played 'Hide The Hot Dog Wiener' with that blonde bowling alley skank Brittney Jones.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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