Written by Bureau
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Wednesday, 5 January 2011

image for Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart Say Sex is Over-Rated

In a press conference yesterday two stars of the Twilight movie series told press agents that they thought that sex was way over-rated.

"I think it was a nine or ten earlier on", stated Stewart, "but I'd only give it a five...maybe even a four now."

"I don't think I'd give it a three", stated Pattinson. "Of course, when you're a 13-year-old male, it's a one hundred. But that's is just a stage you go through."

The revelations startled some of their teen fans who daydream about one of the couple or the other most of their school day.

"Of course, neither of us has ever had sex so our opinions are not really important", stated Rob.

"That's true", agreed Stewart, causing several teens in the crowd to break down in tears.

"Surely you don't believe all that stuff on TheSpoof", added Pattinson.

But the teen crowd stated that they believed every word.

"But I've never even seen myself naked in front of a mirror", contributed Stewart.

Taylor Lautner then came by and asked the couple if they wanted to go over to the club across the street and have a glass of milk.

This is a very shaken Dan Hillyard for The West Coast Post.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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