Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Tuesday, 4 January 2011

image for Gordon Ramsay - Pie Face!

Fans of TV chef Gordon Ramsay have been shocked by pictures of the legendary foul-mouth in the tabloids.

He was photographed with his wife Tana and their kids out walking with David and Victoria Beckham and their family.

Close-ups revealed his face puffed up and bloated, causing speculation that he has undergone some form of vanity treatment, such as botox injections.

One fan, Gwyneth Cushion, said: "What's he gone and done? His face looks like a pie - or one of those dogs with all the wrinkles!"

We contacted plastic surgery expert, Len Cretin, of Harley Street, Harehills, Leeds, for a professional opinion.

He told us: "To be honest, I'm not sure why he would want plastic surgery... what does a guy want a pair of tits for? 'Specially when that missus of his seems to have a perfectly splendid pair if he wants to play with one!

"And anyway - it's difficult to tell with that stupid hoody he's wearing. 'Fitch' - what's that all about. He looks a right twat, doesn't he?

"The face? Ooh, I see. Well, I couldn't say. I mean I specialise in knoockers. Doesn't he always look like that then?

"And who gives a toss?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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