HOLMBY HILLS, California - Teenage heartthrobs Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez were the special guests of an elaborate New Year's Playboy Mansion party hosted by Mr. Playboy himself Hugh Hefner.
Hefner, who is 84, said that he decided to honor the two teen stars whom he feels are both perfect examples of what today's teen idols should be.
Hef stated that he likes the fact that young Bieber always has his hair combed very nicely and never goes around spouting four-letter words like so many kids his age do.
He then noted that Selena is such a refreshing young lady who unlike, Britney Spears, Miley Cyrus, or Paris Hilton has never 'accidentally' shown her (blank) in public while getting out of an automobile.
The Playboy mogul invited 30 of Bieber's and Gomez's closet friends who dined on Big Mac Burgers and French Fries that were personally prepared at the Playboy Mansion by Linwood R. Hubbafaust, Jr., executive senior vice-president of the McDonald's Southern California Corporation.
Music was provided by Hugh Hefner's favorite band Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young who naturally performed his all-time favorite song "Our House" as well as the original 28-minute version of "Suite: Judy Blue Eyes."
Derek Hough and Jennifer Grey, winners of this year's edition of Dancing With The Stars entertained the guests with some fantastically erotic dance numbers including a fabulous routine which they performed while wearing shorts to the 60s Iron Butterfly song "In A Gadda Da Vida."
Louisiana stand up comedian Zydeco Dupree entertained the crowd with his Cajun-Creole comedy routine.
Dupree said that he loves performing at Hefner's Playboy Mansion because he not only gets paid in cash, but that he also gets to date the Playboy Playmate of his choice after the party.
Zydeco said that the last time he performed at the Mansion he enjoyed his date so much that he gave Hefner half of his 'performance fee' back.
When Hefner introduced Selena Gomez to his guests he stated that the young star's 'purity ring' had just received the honor of being the biggest selling teenage item for 2010.
Hef proudly acknowledged that Selena's 'purity ring' had even outsold Miley Cyrus' Hannah Montana Lunchbox, Demi Lovato's Instant Guacamole Dip Mix, and Ke$ha's Box of 28 Different Types and Colors of Glitter.
Mr. Playboy then remarked that Justin Bieber's latest song entitled, "The Lovely And Uncollagened Lips Of My Favorite Girlfriend" is destined to become number one by next week.
SIDENOTE: Justin and Selena were shown around the inside and outside of the mansion by Hefner's fiancée, Crystal Harris who is only 24 and young enough to be Hefner's great granddaughter.