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Monday, 3 January 2011

image for Twilight Trash Can Stuck at Customs in Oregon
Does this trash can hold the secrets of the next Twilight movie?

Twilight fans waiting for more source material on the fourth installment of the box office sensation will have to wait a little while longer. It appears that David Johnston of Legend Freeway fame and "the Twilight trash can" have been retained at the Oregon border in suspicion of Mealy Bug infestation.

According to Oregon Agricultural Defense Council this pest has devastated the grape crops of central Oregon.

According to an official with the Border Patrol in Brookings, Oregon, Bong Le Quan, the driver of the vehicle and Mr. Johnston attempted to cross the boarder via a 'Free Pass Zone' that is allowed only by special permitted vehicles which this vehicle is not - well lets hear directly from Mr. Quan in regards to what transpired; "Truck bad, people bad, permit no bad, permit no on truck, junk truck bad, junk in the trunk smell, junk look like bugs in truck and people, we stop junk, we stop truck, people yell bad words and criminals."

So you see Johnston and the driver really pissed off this guy and his partner at the border. Especially since it took a 2 mile chase before the vehicle would pull over and return to the border.

This statement from Mr. Johnston was given to the Oregon Border Patrol and obtained by WikiSquirts:

"I've heard it said that Oregon is California's Canada but this tops it all. First the signs they have posted aren't nearly explanatory enough to know what the hell lane to take, shit I didn't even know there was 'Border Control' between California and Oregon; second I wasn't driving so why hold me up?

"I didn't know my cousin Rastis wasn't permitted; third they have Jackie Chan stop us and start yelling at us in Viet Cong or some other chink language - that guy was ready to shoot us I could tell and frankly was scared shitless; and fourth what concerned them about the trash can that would make them think it had this Milly or Meal bug or what not?"

Well according to the Border Control the trash can was filthy and contained trash, therefore, commanded immediate quarantine. As for Mr. Johnston and the driver, a Mr. Rastis Carmichael, they were both inebriated and held under suspicion for Driving While Intoxicated.

William Benesh from Legend Freeway and the Yakima, Washington Bureau of WikiSquirts has been dispatch to Brookings to see if he can reacquire the trash can before David is released. More 'Squirts' to come.

Happy "Squirting" MMM

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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