Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Breasts, Pizza, snooki

Monday, 3 January 2011

image for Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi Fined For Illegally Displaying Her "Tata's" At A Pittsburgh Pizza Parlor
The "Through The Garden Pizza" that Polizzi and Stellafini were eating when arrested by Pittsburgh Police.

PITTSBURGH - The Pittsburgh Pressing Post is reporting that one of the stars of The Jersey Shore, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi was taken into custody and charged with illegally displaying her breasts in a public eatery.

Vinnie Manfancuso, evening manager at The Watcha Lookin At Pizza Parlor, stated that the little, itty, bitty, 4 foot 2 inch tall star of the reality show, The Jersey Shore had been arrested by two members of the Pittsburgh Police Department.

Manfancuso explained that a family of six was sitting at the table next to the one were Miss Polizzi was sitting with another girl, identified as Loretta "Mams" Stellafini.

The matriarch of the family, Mrs. Roberta Yaffingale, 46, noted that Polizzi and Stellafini were talking loudly and carrying on as if they owned the joint (place).

Yaffingale said that she asked the two guidettes to please keep it down because her two grandchildren ages 7 and 8 could her them using some of the vulgarest four-letter words ever written.

Stellafini reportedly told Yaffingale to take her two grandchildren and all of her family and go across the bitchin street to Mickey D's (McDonald's) where the kids could play on the freakin monkey bars.

Yaffingale told them that one, they both needed to button up their blouses, which were exposing half of their knockerinos (tits) and two they needed to stop with the friggin four letter words.

Polizzi then stood up, got on top of her chair, and got in Mrs. Yaffingale's face. "Lookey here lady. Ima da famous "Snooki" star of da Jersey Shore and no one tells me ta stop exposing my effen boobs or to stop using friggin vulgar language ju understand Fran?

Yaffingale pointed a finger in her face and told her that she did not care if she was Lassie from the old Lassie TV show. She then called the manager over.

Manfancuso heard what had been transpiring and he told Polizzi and Stellafini to leave his establishment. Both refused. He picked up his cell phone and called the police.

The soon arrived and took the two rack exposing guidettes off to jail. Polizzi had both her tits photographed and marked as exhibits A and B. Stellafini had her tits photographed and marked as exhibits C and D.

SIDENOTE: They were each fined $170 ($85 per tit) and released on their own recognizance. They were told that if they ever appeared in the Pittsburgh Police Department Headquarters again under the same charges that the fines would go up to $125 per knocker (or $250 for the set).

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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